Tuesday, March 24, 2020

Group Critique Poem: "The Desert"

"The Desert"

Stepping over dry, cold rocks,
As grainy sand hits my socks.
This journey has taken me weeks upon weeks to complete.
It feels endless. More like obsolete.
I long for thirst.
May God have mercy on me so that it shall rain heavy downpours on my badly severed body.
There is no way I can afford to reach the light at the end of that tunnel first.
How will I get there when I have not enough energy left to survive?
Where will I go to lay my head to revive?
Now I know I mustn't cry...
Because I wouldn't have landed here if I hadn't lied.
I learned my lesson fair and square,
Only to reason with God to see if he still cares.
A sacrifice I had made to leave my family,
Just to prove a point,
Skinned the clothes off my back,
Wishing I was home, inhaling another joint.
I felt as if this journey was never meant for me...
But I had lived to see that God had sent me to his people as a living prophecy.
Being able to send a message to lessen the erotic catastrophe,
Ignoring the important necessities that man lives to see.
Now I must make it across this deserted island,
Not because God told me to, but just knowing that I can reach my destination
Before this world caves in like a solid hyphen.

Author's Notes: This poem was written in inspiration of a biblical Christianity-based story about Jesus sending one of his disciples to Earth in order to warn people that the end is near, but in this case, it is a physical human being who is assigned to complete a task given by God as a result of his punishment. What I mean by 'physical human being' is that in the Bible, God sent one of his angels to warn people of the coming of Jesus Christ the first time the world ended. However, this person who complains about his journey to inform others of the coming of Christ realizes that God gives him a purpose, despite his wrongdoings and being forced out into the desert to find his self-worth and strengths. In this poem, it shows a man finding the positives out of the punishment he received as a result of neglecting his own family for the abuse of drug consumption: "Wishing I was home, inhaling a joint." God wanted him to get his life in order before warning people of the nearing end, but he also saw him as a potential prophet to not only prove God wrong, but to show how much this guy finally respects the higher being, and also the people around him and himself. By doing so, the guy's perspective that I show in the poem increases his chances of going to heaven by earning God's trust and respect by abiding by what he is told to do.

2 comments:

  1. I love this poem. As a spiritual person myself, I think it's super touching, especially in now times of what's going on in the world and how everyone thinks that the end is near. I love the Bible stories that show when people go through hard times, how they can be grateful to God even after all they've been through, like Job. I'm pretty positive you know that story. It's similar. Love the writing!

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  2. I love this poem. It´s a very touching poem since in this situation that we are going through many people think that the end of the world is near. As a catholic I believe that the coming of God is getting closer for all the things that are happening in the world. The stories of the Bible are very good since they teach you that in the most difficult times that one as a person can be passing God is always with us. Just as in the poem each one has a purpose that no matter how difficult it is one has to fulfill it, not to take it as a punishment but as something that will help you to be a better person. It´s a very nice poem. Good job!

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