God pt. 1

This is not what I expected but I enjoyed this poem. The title automatically made me believe that this would be about church, religion and something about God being a higher being and creating everything. From my point of view, the poem reflects on trust for someone and feeling like you thought you knew what they were capable of. The "steady hand on the wheel" stanza makes me feel like you thought this person had more control but you end up realizing that you are sadly mistaken. It's also a sense of betrayal and disappointment. The last stanza that states "eyes as white as a child's" basically expresses how children are innocent beings and while begging for forgiveness, you wanted to be perceived as innocent and pure.

Found Essay

I wanted to share this found essay by Andrea. I think it's a successful example of the genre. In addition to having several great lines, it seems to move toward some kind of point, i.e. it doesn't maintain the same frequency, but builds over its course toward a conclusion. I feel like it achieves a real sadness similar to Stillmann's example that we read in class, but it's also unique. What do you think?

Honesty ,Betrayal ,Relationship/Love :A found Essay from Instagram

by Andrea Hayman

Hard to swallow pill: not every person you care about is going to care about you in the same length, your capacity to love and care isn’t for every one of them. It’s all fun & game until I’m unreachable , unavailable and uninterested  .How sad is it to suddenly stop talking to the person you thought you’d marry. Crazy how the strongest bonds break over the weakest shit. A man can’t handle the same hurt he gives a woman. Don’t play the victim when you created the problem in the first place. Never beat up on yourself for what may seems like a mistake. It was necessary for you to walk that path to learn those lessons.

 If we are in a relationship, I’m gone let you have fun; live your life to the fullest. Just don’t do anything to disrespect me or anything  you wouldn’t want me doing. When I say, “I love you,” I don’t say it out of habit. I say it to remind you that you’re the best thing that ever happened to me .Somebody said, “ I can’t wait to live , I just been surviving” and I felt that whole heartedly. I need someone in my life who cares about me as much as I care about them because I’m so tired of always being the one who cares more. I be so busy trying to make everybody Else happy , That I Don’t even be Realizing I ain’t even happy[ .

Contributors, in order of appearance : @shanfeelings , @mrpopularboss,@mxryam_6,@devuriah, @AlladatQ, @mindfulmizfitz, @sweet.qvotes ,@blackskinqueens,@SamonteJ_ , @uhhdrugs,@KingVonFrmdaWic.

---

 

Public Writing Project

Another way that you can meet this requirement is by submitting to the English department's literary journal, Collective. The editors have extended the deadline to early next week so submit now! You may submit your creative writing to Prof. Ben Miller (Bmiller@qcc.cuny.edu) or Prof. Alison Cimino (Acimino@qcc.cuny.edu).

I feel the author is the protagonist he kept the poem about Nutella alive by memorizing and reciting it. At the end of the story ,when he and God was intimate he asked her to recite the story because it was like he was intimate with Nutella. The author was able to succeed with God because he thought about Nutella during the sexual encounter. At the end of the story ,he asked her was she going to write a poem about their encounter. The author didn’t want his secret revealed that he thought about Nutella when he was intimate with her. Melanie was upset and crying because she lost her virginity to someone that was not present. The author really wanted to be with Nutella

Initially, I thought the story would be about someone that had an encounter with God or maybe died and came back to tell the story. I was truly surprise that the fraternity named her God because no human is equivalent to God. I wished that they would have used a different title for the story. The poem is describing Nutella as this strong guy that failed at nothing and always in control. However ,when intimate with God he didn’t have control and ejaculated prematurely. God was disappointed with Nutella  and wrote a poem about their encounter.  Melanie(God)thought she knew him she wanted him to take control of her body and he disappointed her. I liked the poem it made the story interesting. I think Melanie is a tease and wanted to be popular amongst her peers. I was not surprise she was a virgin, girls like attention at this age.

Response to Stephen

I agree with the poem giving Melanie a sense of power that she didn't exactly ask for, but was praised heavily by her writing abilities. The fact that the author memorized the poem to its entirety, and added lines of his own to add some more spice to it shows how interested and profound he was of Melanie and the poem. The poem definitely adds more of a carrier for the duration of the story. My question for you though is: Why was Melanie heavily praised just for pointing out a flaw of the "most perfect" frat brother Nutella? What significance does that have to the author besides having his way with Melanie at the end?

"God" Poem (Added more lines)

Who is this soldier who did not hold his fire
When the whites of my eyes were shrouded
In fluttering eyelids?
I thought I knew you
Knew you were the steady hand on the wheel
The prow itself
But what kind of captain are you?
Scared sailor with your hand on your mast
Betrayed by your own body
As we are all betrayed
On your knees
Above me
Begging my forgiveness
With the muscles of a demon
And the whites of your eyes
As white as a child's?

My added lines:

Fear not to pull it's trigger
The masked man, the man in the mirror
As you no longer control the epicenter of your own mind
For his imperfections foreshadowed his picture perfect image
Where we know it is not that difficult nor hard to find.  
He the man himself has clouded memories
Of what may have happened that night before
Pounced on God herself and watch her 'pree' (to taste)
On the whiteness of my iris that had been restored