God (Part 2)

The story is about the events of sexual contact of other poem based on a poem. The protagonist in the story is God because they said she was the ultimate princess. The narrator tasted from Melanie's tears at the end were salt and sour makeup. They had a film projector on the wall but after that she got out the bed without saying a word and banging things in the kitchen.

God (Part 1)

When I saw the title "God" I assumed it was going to be a religious purpose but it just about getting pleasure for yourself. I think what the poem is doing in the story is that it shows how a person can be trusted or skilled because it said "I thought I knew you, knew you were the steady hand on the wheel." The poem just explains how the solider is being begged for forgiveness and that can related from a God like substance because when people believe in god and do something bad they would beg for forgiveness. It was straight forward poem because it talked about different events. This is a decent poem to read for adults. God as a character seems like a calm person but also is a sexual active person as well. I assumed that she was going to a peaceful person. I think it was a surprise.  

"God"

I honestly was a bit confused by this particular story. However, the way the author depicts an imagery with the poem, it shows his clear understanding of what Nutella and "God" are like. When the author decided to add lines of his own to the poem, it gave the story more of a push and an idea on what was likely to happen next. The part where Melanie, also known as "God" lost her virginity towards the end of the story was not exactly a surprise to me because the poem and the beginning of the story sort of hinted towards the strong praise of the character for even writing the poem. Melanie was mostly "worshiped" throughout the story by fraternity members, and then the author mentions "pre-ejaculation" on Nutella's part. These little hints in the story are ideally strong enough for the reader to realize that something would've most likely happened between the narrator and "God", simply because the narrator was intrigued by Melanie's ways of writing, and got obsessed over it to the point where he memorized particular lines of the poem, and added lines of his own.

God

This has been my favorite piece of writing we read so far this year.  The way the author tells this story kept pulling my attention to read more and more.  One of the reasons I liked this piece so much is because some of my friends are in frats and the brotherly love depicted in the story is what I see with my friends and in their frats.  Also, this story takes place closer to this time period most likely, so in turn, I was more drawn to this piece. This story had a very realistic nature to it, such as the frat brothers and their distinct nicknames.  I know my friends' frat brothers all have weird nicknames, such as hot sauce.  Their nicknames usually tie in with an event that occurred with their brothers. This makes the bonds between the brothers grow stronger.  Ultimately, I enjoyed almost every aspect of this story.  It grabbed my attention and had it all focused on the story, which is a hard achievement with me reading.

God (Poem)

The poem in the story, "God" is what drives the story forward.  The poem gave a sense of power to its author, Melanie who was then referred to as God because she depicted a fault in the "most perfect" frat brother, Nutella.  I honestly prefer this method that the author used in actually writing the poem to show us in the story rather than just telling us the poem existed.  I feel that actually being able to read the poem and how the words were used to articulately refer to the 'situation' that occurred between Melanie and Nutella. Without it, I feel the story wouldn't have had the same driving force.  Sure we may have known what the story was about but being able to see the carefully chosen words for the poem truly gave the story a huge push.  I felt that was a strong poem that could also stand alone without the story.

God

The catalyst for the story is the poem. The poem is about Nutella's pre-ejaculation and so the fraternity calls Melanie God and pretends to worship her. Why is the story called "God"? What tension does that set up for you as a reader? What kind of assumption(s) do you bring to a story titled "God"?

But yes, the poem. Read it again. What is the poem doing in the story? Benjamin Nugent could have just said the poem existed, described what it was about, and left it at that. But he wrote the poem. How is it as a poem? Is it a good poem?

What is Melanie/God like as a character? What assumptions did you make about her? It's suggested at the end that she was a virgin until she had sex w/ the narrator. Was this a surprise? Or is that a cliche that the "fast" girl turned out to be a virgin?

What is the story about? Who is the protagonist?

What do you think about the nicknames for the frat brothers? Apparently, this is a thing w/ rich white men as came to light in the controversy over Brett Kavanaugh two years ago:

Or maybe this is something that all people do regardless of ethnicity or gender. What do you think?

Why does the narrator taste Melanie's tears at the end? Reread the last three paragraphs again. What happens at the end? Why is this the conclusion?

For your writing this week, try to add lines to the poem like Oprah does on p. 213. If your lines are good enough, they might stand alone as your own poem. Also, I think that a big part of the strength of the story is not about anything that happens in the plot, in fact, what happens is not that dramatic. The strengths are two things: 1) A strong narrative voice and 2) great dialogue. This week, I want you to think about your narrative voice--for whatever genre you're writing in. Also, use dialogue whenever possible.

Reminders:

• Upload drafts on Blackboard at least by 2 pm on Thursday to get credit for this week's group crits. 
• Not everyone is making comments on their group members' drafts. You need to respond to their drafts, preferably by the end of the weekend. Even if you group member turned their draft in late, I urge you to make comments on it. I'll give you credit for it.
• Tomorrow during our regular class time, I'm going to hold a virtual class meeting to discuss the reading, our writing, and anything else we feel like talking about. This is completely optional. 
• As those who have been following the schedule know, we have nothing scheduled after this week until the week of 4/21 where we'll start the play Wunderkammer (download off Blackboard). You can use that time to get caught up on your writing, reading, and blogging. If you're already caught up, awesome! You can use the time to get caught up in your other classes or, even better, recharge. I will be available over the break. Just write me. 

I hope everyone is staying safe.

ATTEN: XAVIER DURAN

Xavier: Please write me at Jtalbird@qcc.cuny.edu as soon as you can.

Response to “Perfect Balance “

The Poem is very emotional, the meaning of love in the poem is deep, is true when she says that love and trust is very important. Why ? Because if there’s no trust in a relationship, there is no relation with each other. Also, the poem has simile, imagination, and repetition. She makes the poem to be more interesting by describing each state of love and trust. In the poem it ends with a happy ending, how love turn out to be real, and how each other can built a good relation by trust which in the poem she believes is more important. 

Miss Adele

Miss Adele seems that she knows everything, however she is very delicate and selfish. She thinks that she knows everything by telling the counter guy what is to have matters. However, she was very disrespectful, having the attention since no one else pays her attention. She is an old woman who wants to be 25 again, who feels happy about her age, and she is a city woman, she likes to go out, to see the amazing things in the city since she talks about the city and how wonderful it is. She seems that she complains too much, but why? Is she not happy with the person she is, or she just like to have attention by being loud ?

Reply to steph g

I didn't think about her difficult childhood but I now agree that it has reflected upon her current actions in the store. It's interesting b/c as a kid you don't have ways to cope w/unfairness in society but as an adult you wonder if anything you can do would even matter in the situation too. The only real option would be to ignore it or confront the owner and Miss Adele did the latter even though it didn't end well. I feel like many people can relate to this problem that even if I did XYZ would the final result be worth it?

Reply to Stephen Collura

You bring up a good point on how the short story brought up different kinds of conflict to the reader from the owner and his wife vs Miss Adele too. I feel like there's an even larger conflict on how Miss Adele is a remnant of a different older NYC than the modern NYC lifestyle so there's a contrast of differences. All of her mentions of her twin brother Devin look identical but their lives are total opposites.

Miss Adele Amidst the Corsets 2

Speaking of Miss Adele, I wonder how reliable she is as a narrator? What do you think?  What do you think? Is the owner of the shop racist or transphobic?

I think that as a reader we will trust the main character's thoughts over everyone else in the cast due to the fact that we're able to read her mind and justifications. Miss Adele is someone who never seems to back down on her beliefs and interactions. I agreed with Miss Adele that the owner is transphobic and racist but I'm surprised that she decided to confront him at the checkout. Everything from ignoring her as

Miss Adele Amidst the Corsets 1

How does Zadie Smith make the Clinton Corset Emporium come alive in the story? What kinds of sensual details--sight, sound, taste, smell, touch--are favored?

The writer described the trip to and from the corset store along with being inside it from the character's POV from the winter street, cluttered store, and the dressing rooms. Even though it's from a third person's thoughts we got a sense of how the main character felt at the time of her trip and her past reflected her emotions. I actually thought the story took place decades ago until Miss Adele mentioned wanting an app to translate arguments.

Miss Adele/point of view

Speaking of Miss Adele, I wonder how reliable she is as a narrator? What do you think? Is the owner of the shop racist or transphobic? What do you think he's listening to on his radio? How much can we trust Miss Adele's assumptions about other people?







In a story like this, would Miss Adele be considered a narrator? I know we're seeing her from a third-person perspective, and what we come to know about her life is explained by this POV, but I would like to be clear about what that actually means. I think her experience is important, and from what we can see, the people at the shop were objectively pretty rude and unwelcoming while everyone else who visited the shop were received a little more kindly. I don't know what could have been on that radio, but it does seem that it was a zealous religious sermon of some sort, and it seemed to remind her of her own upbringing (maybe her family were fundamentalists, who could know for sure). Regardless, all of these behaviors would be considered textbook microaggressions. So I would say yes, they do seem transphobic and probably are racist (I feel like both usually go hand in hand, and don't always require hard evidence to prove). It does seems like a lot of her past and childhood experiences determines how she reacts to her treatment, not being sure how to read people and their motives says something about what her life is probably like. Throughout this scene, she's constantly dealing with old wounds without losing her composure, until it's just too obvious to ignore. She does appear jaded, but I would say that I trust her assumptions (I can just imagine my own friends going through something like this, and questioning their assumptions would be out of the question for me, imo).

¨Miss Adele Amidst the Corsets¨

In the story ¨Miss Adele Amidst the Corsets¨, Miss Adele, forty-six years old, liked to wear corset to look pretty on stage. She with her lived years describes the city very well. When she went in search of a new corset, she had to face racism and homophobia. She also had to endure sarcastic comments from owners and other buyers at the Clinton Corset Emporium, including from a talk radio show. Miss Adele always remembered the shame to which she was subjected by her family in the "God Forgotten State of Florida". Her family was very intolerant. She at the end of the story runs away from the store only taking the things that belonged to her. 
Loretta Young is a beautiful actress in the twenties-fifties who was raped by Clark Glade. She kept her son a secret since her son was out of marriage. Miss Adele refers to Mss. Alexander as Mss. Young since she was also beautiful, and she was always happy about her life. Miss Adele give her an award for being a good wife. For me it seems illogical her awarding since sometimes not everything is good in a marriage. In some cases, despite marital problems, one has to act as if nothing happened. Despite the fact that sometimes Miss Adele had her strong temperaments. She focused on that we always have to be true to ourselves. 

Little big Town

   There is a little place by me called Mineola. The little town is part of a larger town called North Hempstead. Here in Mineola, there is a peaceful lull that surrounds the town. There are white picket fences and people still check in on their neighbors. 

            There are some bars and taverns that help working class Mineolians pass their nights. With a major thoroughfare running through the center of town, the traffic can sometimes come to a standstill. We have schools everywhere and a public pool to cool off in the summer. 

            There are delicious restaurants with food from all over the world. There's a place that permeates the car with the smell of roasted chicken, even if all of the windows are shut. There are a few fast food joints as well.

            The old library has been entertaining people for over 100 years. There is also a park that is made for Sunday afternoons. This is a nice place to live.

switching song point of view

So I was listening to this song and decided to write how the other person whose point of view isn't shown in the song.     

Here's part of the song:

Hello by Emily Burns

Do you know how many lies I've had to tell my friends?
How many nights I've seen out to the end?
Lost count of the times I've rewritten messages I'll never send
If you knew all the ways I tried to forget
All the days that I've wasted, lyin' in my bed
If you knew that it breaks every little piece of me, each time you leave

Baby, then maybe you wouldn't call
Maybe then you'd just leave me alone

'Cause I can't help but fall apart
Got me right back at the start
Funny how you always know
When I'm 'bout to let you go
You show up and say "Hello"
And I wish that I could block you out
But, damn, you got your timin' down
Funny how you always know
When I'm 'bout to let you go
You show up and say "Hello"

My Version: Goodbye

I’ve heard all the lies you’ve told your friends 

All the nights you’ve stayed out to the end

Why don’t you call or text me anymore?

Oh I've tried to forget

All the times I've tried to replace you

I know it breaks every little piece of you, each time I leave

So forgive me but I just have to call

I can't leave you alone

When I see that you’re moving on 

I just can’t help but fall apart 

Got me right back at the start 

I always know when you’re letting me go

So I show up 

Cause’ I don’t know how to say goodbye 

And I wish you would block me out 

But, damn, I got my timin’ down 

Funny how I always know

When you’re about to let me go

I’ll just show up again

Cause’ I don’t know how to say goodbye

Public Writing Project

The lit journals Glass Mountain (print) and Shards (online) only print writing by undergrads. If you submit to one of these journals that will meet your Public Writing Project.

"The Perfect Balance" (Poem)

The Perfect Balance

Love and trust go hand in hand

without one there cannot be the other

they coexist with a perfect balance

Alone they are fragile

but together 

they stand stronger than any fortress

Love is patient and kind

it does not envy

it celebrates the truth

it always endures the test of time

A lack of trust 

leads to accusations

with no basis for them

sure she says she loves me

but if she did we wouldn’t be here

She calls me a liar and a cheat

but I have never strayed away

I always gave nothing but love and trust

and she couldn’t do the same

A relationship like that can only last so long

but at some point enough

is enough

and it must come to an 

end

Now a new relationship has been built

and I now know true love

both love and trust prevail now

there is no reason to

second guess

so I can truly say,

“I love you”

1 true
2 lies

I have traveled to 5 different countries

I love to eat snakes

I swim every day at 5 am

miss adle amidst the corsers

this story is  about finding a way a way to deal with all the prejudices faced by those a bit different. people judging another by jus the way that they look. The writer lets us figure out for ourselves that he is a gay man who dresses up as a woman for a living.  He is facing the fact that he is getting a bit old for this.  His once pristine body is not what it used to be.  He needs to buy a new corset to hold him into shape for the shows.  The very real part of the story begins at the corset shop.  The shop owners are a couple. She grabbed the curtain and yanked it shut”. This quote is important in the theme of observation, because Miss Adele gives an analogy to how uncomfortable and belittled the man made her feel. then Miss Adele confronts the man with her feelings and she tell him. If I’m so disgusting to you? If I’m so beneath your contempt? Why’re you taking my money’ This quote shows how angry Miss Adele is with the man and how she believes he is judging her and finds her disgusting. Miss Adele forms an initial judgment much more preferable to the man’s wife who helps her in the dressing room. The husband and wife are like fighting throughout the time Miss Adele is in the shop, and she often states her belief that the man is the reason for all the conflict. Miss Adele thinks that his wife is nice. Not like him.

1 truth 2 lies
I speak Spanish

I am from Antigua and Barbuda


I was born in Guyana

Miss Adele
 At the starting of this story it was a little confusing to me but  some how I did understand that the corset was not fitting. For instance,  these are a few lines that throw me off "when irresistible force like your ass.... "Don't sing." "kicking down the dressing room and sat on their faces". However, on page 255 where Miss Adele take back the ruin corset to get a new one and the seller was asking her what she got under their " flesh or feather". I think it wasn't her place to be so personal and go out of boundaries . As well as that the reason I think she said some people be offended because she think Miss Adele was offended.

Miss Adele

There are some things about this story that I like and I don't like. I don't like how the story starts off very weird and strange. It's very off-putting for me. things are too rapid things aren't allowing me to settle to all this hustle and bustle about some corset not fitting and broken. He has an exchange between two characters that we don't even know yet. Then the main character is thrust upon the streets of New York City. There they give their opinion which again I don't like. They talk about how the city is great and one aspect and terrible and another. News flash, if you don't like where you live you can always leave. then she trips herself through the streets until finally she gets to the shop that has what she's been searching for. The description up to this point of her world is eclectic to see the least. When she steps inside of the shop I can feel myself transported there but I don't want to be. I like the description of how the sounds coming from the radio, "constructed from straight lines and corners." Obviously, everything goes downhill from there. Miss Adele believes that there is some harbored hate coming from the store owner. This is what I don't like about the main character, not necessarily about the writing, that Miss Adele believes in unsubstantiated comments thrown her way. I really do like however the verbal back and forth or at least one way from Miss Adele to the store owner. It is also funny to picture Miss Adele running down the streets looking as crazy as she does as passerbys must wonder who the heck this lady is.

Teggy at site (Acura Integra Gsr for short Teggy)

Being subconscious in a quiet night.             (Feeling dazed in a quiet night)  

Fearful to see maybe a fearful sight.             (Scared to see what is out the window)

Roaming around light Bright red and white      (Cops are driving around to see

to see if far away everything is alright.              if my neighborhood is alright)

Staring out the window to the end of site      (Looking out the window to see to the end of site

to see her there white as light.                        seeing my white Integra bright as light) 

Having to be there it seems alright.                (My car seems to be alright)

Going back to subconsciousness in a quiet night.   (Trying to sleep in this quiet night)

Not a sound nor a movement chased my eye.  (No sound nor movements cough my attention)

Back and forth not a mouse in site.                  (Looking around out the window)

Now controlled I feel my heart and mind.       (Knowing my car is good I feel relaxed)

Going back to subconsciousness in a quiet night.   (Trying to sleep in this quiet night)

A iconic dream car I always wanted which was my first car. Having the car for 10 years and lots of money invested was my attachment. Not only was it a head turner for many but also for the car thief's. My car has been broken into a few time with the front driver or passenger glass shattered and moved from its location about 500 feet as well as my stock rims (Swirly or Gsr Blades) being taken. The problem of having a car others wanted to steal was a headache. That is were the poem came to places with the meaning on the right side just to verify what was said.